


Wingman

by Quickspinner



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 19:20:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10520172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quickspinner/pseuds/Quickspinner
Summary: Never take your well-meaning but socially inept best friend to the café where your crush hangs out. It always ends in embarrassment.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how this happened. I’ve never written a modern AU before. Nothing else was working for me this week, and then this just…came forth. I hope it’s not awful, but at least it’s not nothing.
> 
> PSA: Don’t do what Alistair does here. It only works because it’s fiction.

  
“So then I put on a dress and danced the Remigold.”

“Hmm.” Cullen started. “Wait, what.”

Alistair rolled his eyes. “You haven't been listening to a word I've said for the past five minutes, and you were distracted even before that.”

“Sorry,” Cullen sighed, but his eyes drifted past Alistair once more.

“All right, which one are you looking at?” Alistair said, glancing over his shoulder. “I can tell someone’s caught your eye, now out with it.”

Cullen sighed but clearly knew it was pointless to refuse to answer; Alistair would just make a scene until he did. “She's third in line, in the blue shirt.”

“The blonde elven girl with one arm?” Alistair asked in surprise.

“Maker’s breath, _shut up_ , Alistair.”

“Well she is pretty,” Alistair said, turning in his seat together a better look. She was petite but lean, with a pale complexion and platinum blonde hair piled in a messy bun on top of her head. “I like the hair. Very sexy librarian.”

“Stop staring,” Cullen hissed, and Alastair turned back around. “Her name is Ellana, she owns the bookstore next door,” Cullen said stiffly. “I see her here sometimes, on her lunch break I guess.”

“Ah, so that's why you like this cafe so much,” Alistair grinned. “Very sly. Should have known better than to bring me here though if you didn't want me to notice. You’ve been looking for her, haven't you? That's why you weren't paying attention to my riveting conversation.”

“I like it because it's next to the only independent bookstore in town I can walk into without having a panic attack,” Cullen grumbled. “The other stores seem to be prejudiced against windows. And I’d like to be able to keep going there, so please drop it.”

“But you do like her.”

“She's been very helpful,” Cullen said. “And she is pretty. And...I like her voice.” He sighed, relenting slightly. “I do like her, I like talking to her, but I don't even know her. I'm not going to hit on her while she's working, I'm sure she gets that enough.”

“She's not working now,” Alistair pointed out, glancing back to see Ellana had taken a seat at another of the outdoor tables, not far from them.

“She's having lunch. When she's done she reads. She's not looking for company.”

Alistair leaned over the table. “What if I could get you a date with her?”

Cullen looked surprised and then horrified. “Don't even think about it.”

“Too late,” Alistair grinned, bouncing out of his chair.

“Alistair!”

“Excuse me. Hello!”

Ellana looked up at the broad-shouldered man standing over her with a goofy grin that set her immediately on edge, and her brows came down slightly. “Yes?” she said cautiously.

“Do you have a moment to talk? I don't mean to disturb you, I'll only be a moment.”

“Go ahead,” Ellana said, still guarded.

The blond man sat down across from her without any further invitation, and she leaned back almost involuntarily as he leaned forward. “Listen,” he said, putting his elbows on the table to lean even closer, “My friend back there, the super embarrassed one trying to kill me with his mind, he thinks you’re really interesting but he thinks he’ll look like a creeper if he bothers you while you’re reading.”

Ellana raised her eyebrows. “So...you decided to come be creepy for him?”

“Yep,” the man said cheerfully. “I'm a giver. Also, I'm charming and adorable and completely incompetent, so women don't usually find me threatening. Name’s Alistair, by the way. You don't have to tell me yours if you don't want to. It's just that Cullen’s my best friend and a really great guy, and he's been through a lot recently and I want him to be happy. He's not perfect, of course, he can be really stiff and formal and he's soooooo serious. He's completely going to kill me for this, of course, so please tell him I invited you to the funeral.”

“This is...a little odd, you realize,” Ellana said, but couldn't help glancing over Alistair's shoulder at the thundercloud seated a few tables away. Even with one hand over his face, obviously completely mortified at his friend’s actions, she recognized him, mostly by his hair. “I've seen him in the shop,” she realized. “He reads military strategy. Is he a soldier?”

“Former,” Alistair grinned, “He’s retired now. So you have noticed him.”

Ellana felt her cheeks flush - damn her pale face to the void - but tried to look unruffled otherwise. “I’m a businesswoman, I notice all my regulars. Besides, I helped him find a book on dog training just a few days ago.” She smiled a little at the memory. He'd been more animated than she'd ever seen him that day. Usually he was serious and polite but looking through those pet books, he'd been adorably eager.

“Yes, he's got a bit of a soft spot for animals,” Alistair told her, looking, she thought, terribly pleased with himself. “Just adopted an abandoned mabari.” He frowned. “You do like dogs, I hope? That might be a deal breaker if not. He loves that big hairy slobbery thing, he'll never get rid of it now.”

“I prefer horses,” Ellana said, a laugh in her voice, “But I like dogs, too.”

“Great!” Alastair shifted in his seat. “How do you feel about the outdoors? You don't look like you get much sun but you look fit, I bet you don't spend all your time reading.”

“I have other hobbies, yes,” she said, raising her eyebrows slightly. “Not big on camping though if that's what you’re asking.”

“No, nothing like that. Well, I don't know, actually, it sounds like something he'd like but mostly he stays in the city. One of those guys who likes to get up at dawn and run for miles. Do you like parks? He likes parks. He's just not big on ‘inside’ in general, Cullen.”

“I like some of the city parks.” She stopped and shook her head. “Wait a minute, this is starting to feel a bit like an interview.”

“Ah, sorry,” Alastair said sheepishly. “I’m not trying to pressure you, I was just coming over here to break the ice. Why don't I--I'm just going to go, and it's totally up to you if you decide to go talk to him.” Alistair stood up. “He stammers when he's nervous, so it might take a minute to get a coherent sentence out of him. Don't mind it, he’ll loosen up if you get him going. It was nice meeting you!” He waved and left, stopping by Cullen’s table to put his hands on his friend's shoulders and whisper, “You owe me.”

“I hate you,” Cullen muttered, sinking down in his chair and putting his hand over his eyes.

“Cheers,” Alastair said, slapping him on the back as he walked off. “See you next week.”

Cullen put both hands over his face and sighed, and then sat up in his chair. He glanced at Ellana, and flushed as he found her looking back at him. He was just wondering if he should go to her and apologize for his idiot friend, when she stood up, tossed her trash, picked up her book and--came over to his table.

“Well,” she said with a lopsided smile, “You sure picked an interesting wingman.”

“I am so sorry,” Cullen said fervently, quickly getting to his feet,”I told him not to bother you but once he gets an idea in his head there’s no way of stopping him short of tackling him to the ground and sitting on him.” Which, in retrospect, maybe he should have done. “Please let me make it up to you, can I buy you a coffee?”

“You could offer me a seat,” she said, a little shyly.

“I--what? I mean, yes, of course, please join me.” Cullen hastily moved to pull out the chair next to him - the place across was still littered with the  
detritus of Alistair’s breakfast.

“How’s it going with your dog?” Ellana asked as she sat down.

“It's, ah, going.” Cullen sat down himself, rubbing the back of his neck. “The rescue said his last owner was Orlesian so I'm not sure we even speak the same language, to be honest, but we’ve reached an understanding of the important stuff. Mostly,” he added, looking down at the chew marks on his shoes. “The book was very helpful.”

“I'm glad,” she smiled. “Always good to see a satisfied customer. Good to see you branch out your tastes, too. Even a soldier should only read about war so much.”

“That's true,” Cullen said softly, “I've actually been thinking that myself lately. Perhaps you could recommend some favorites?” He gestured at her book. “You seem to be reading something different every day.”

“Ah, you’ve found me out,” Elanna laughed, and the sound made his chest feel tight. “I run the bookstore to feed my own addiction.” He flinched slightly at the word, but she didn't seem to notice. “My favorites are history, but I like to try a lot of things.” She hesitated slightly, a touch of shyness coming back to her. “But if you’re serious, I could suggest some things. Alistair said you like animals - what else are you interested in?”

“I hardly know,” Cullen admitted, wrapping his hands around his decidedly cool coffee cup. “I've been a soldier for so long, I guess I haven't really had the leisure to find out. I play chess, but that's about it really. What--what do you like? History, you said, but…”

“I'm afraid I'm rather boring,” she said, dropping her eyes. “I like books, and music, and riding horses, and making things.”

“That doesn't sound boring at all,” Cullen replied, smiling. “Sounds lovely, actually.”

She blushed a very becoming pink and smiled at the table.

Silence fell for a moment while Cullen fought an internal battle, trying to think of anything to say that wasn't _Will you go out with me._

Before he could come up with anything, Ellana’s phone beeped. “Oh, I’m afraid I have to get back to the shop,” she said, slipping her book and her phone into her purse. “It---it was nice talking to you.”

“It was,” Cullen said, getting to his feet as she did. “I'd--well, ah--would you--” He cleared his throat, tried again. “Would you like to have lunch with me some time? Properly, this time. Uh, tomorrow?”

“I'm off tomorrow and I've already made plans,” she said, fussing with the ends of her hair. “But I could do the day after.”

“Sure,” Cullen said, relieved. “Absolutely. I'll meet you here? Same time as usual?” He bit his tongue, realizing how that sounded, and felt his ears go red, and Elanna blushed, but she only said, “It’s a date,” and turned to go.

“Right.” Cullen watched her walk away, but suddenly she paused, and turned back. Setting her purse on the table, she slipped her book out of it and handed it to him.

“It's one of my favorites,” she shrugged slightly. “Give it a try.”

“I will,” Cullen said, accepting the book without looking away from her eyes.

She picked up her purse and disappeared into the bookshop as quickly as she could without running.

Cullen sat back down at the table, feeling a bit weak in the knees. He looked down at the book, a worn paperback. Running his fingers over the creased cover, he grudgingly admitted to himself--he really did owe Alistair.


	2. Advice from a Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen gets some advice from a friend on how to handle his unexpected date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many many thanks to everyone who enjoyed this and especially to those who asked for more. I hadn't intended to continue and I'm not sure how this is going to go, as I said I've never done a modern AU before, but thanks for your support and I'll do my best to make it a fun ride.
> 
> This chapter's a little short, so consider it a down payment on things to come.

Cullen was cleaning up the remains of his dinner when his phone vibrated on the counter. He dried his hands, picked up the phone and his mouth tightened. Alistair, probably calling to gloat. He picked up the call and put the phone to his ear. “Alistair, I am going to--”

“Easy, Cullen, it’s me.”

“Neria,” Cullen sighed. “Thank the Maker. Listen, if I murdered your fiancé do you think you could still get your deposit back on the venue?”

“Not this soon, I’m afraid. Your window for murder closed a couple weeks ago, I think.”

“Figures,” Cullen sighed, stepping out of the kitchen and throwing himself on his couch. Captain whined, looking at the door. “Sorry, boy. In a minute, okay?” Captain made a whuffing noise and trotted over to throw himself on the floor at Cullen's feet.

“I got the basics from Alistair. Tell me what happened after he left.”

“Not a lot. I think I was still in shock, to be honest. I felt like I ought to apologize or something, but I didn't really know what to do. Before I could do anything she came over to me. We talked for a few minutes and she was--really nice about it, actually.”

“And?”

“And...we’re having lunch together in a couple of days,” Cullen said softly, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Really? Well that’s something. I’m glad Alistair didn’t scare her off.”

“Yes, but…” Cullen sighed. “I don’t know, Neria, even if she were interested in me I’m not sure this is a good idea. I don’t think I’m in the best place for a relationship right now.”

“You’re having lunch, Cullen, not getting married.”

Cullen didn’t answer.

“Why are you so hung up on this girl? Alistair’s never too clear with details but it sounded like you barely know her.”

“I don't know her,” Cullen admitted, running his fingers through his hair. He pushed off the couch, pacing across his apartment. “The first time I talked to her -- she probably doesn't even remember, honestly I hope she doesn't -- I went up to ask her a question. She had her back to me at first and when I spoke to her she turned around and she had these huge blue eyes and I -- Neria, I swear I forgot my own name, let alone the question I was going to ask her. I haven’t felt that kind of attraction since…” he paused, but she knew what he was thinking anyway, so he might as well say it. “Since you, actually. Since...before it all happened.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I felt like a fool but she was really quite kind about it, and once my brain started working again I didn’t think that much about it, except that I always looked for her when I came in. Not for any reason, I guess, just to see if she was there. And, well, she’s always there. Seems pretty committed to the place. She loves what she does, you can tell. It can’t be an easy business, running a bookshop in this day and age and well...I guess I admire her. Even when she's having a bad day she’s so focused and energized. I just liked being around that, around her. When I had a bad night I would go over there in the morning and watch her work and just...remember why we all fought so hard. Why all the things that happened to us mattered.” He sighed. “I thought about asking her out a few times but I just, I don’t know, I didn’t fit. A woman like that, with a business and friends and a life…She’s so together and I’m...” He shook his head, and dropped his face into his hand. “This is crazy, isn’t it. I’m finally losing my mind.”

“Cullen,” Neria said softly, mixed sympathy and reproach in her tone. “You know no one is as together as they look on the outside. Forgive my bluntness but the girl’s missing an arm, she’s got to have some issues! And you--you’re handling yours.”

“Not very well, lately,” he said, rubbing his aching eyes.

“Well,” she said, with a sigh, “We all have our up and down days, don’t we? But listen, Cullen, don’t reject yourself on her behalf without even involving her. Give her a chance to make up her own mind.” She paused. “You want my advice?”

“Maker, yes.”

“Be honest with her. Tell her you like her and you want to get to know her better, give her your number, and then give her some space. You're a direct person, Cullen, and when you try to be something else--well, it's obvious that you’re trying too hard, and frankly you’re a little too close to creepy stalker territory as it is. Just man up and own it.” Her voice turned teasing. “It's perfectly fine to be attracted to a pretty girl. Normal, even. Maybe it won't work out but at least you’ll be out there trying to live your life. That's why you’re retiring, isn't it?”

Cullen put his free hand in his pocket and stared out of the enormous plate glass window that had caused him pay too much money for this apartment. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “You’re right.” He smiled. “Thanks, Neria. Alistair doesn't deserve you.” After all this time he could finally say it without bitterness.

“I know,” she said airily, and then more seriously. “Good luck, Cullen. One day at a time, right?”

“Right. You two have a good night. Tell Alistair you’ve bailed him out for the moment.”

“Good night, Cullen.”

He hung up the phone and Captain was immediately in front of him, rump wagging, lead in his mouth. “All right, let’s go.” Cullen crouched to rub the mabari’s big head and take the lead. “Thanks for being patient with me.” He snapped the leash onto Captain’s collar and grabbed his keys off the hall table. “I don't know about you but I could use some fresh air.”


	3. First Date Jitters

“Are you sure about this?”

Ellana sighed. “Dorian, you’ll be right here, and don’t tell me you won’t be watching the entire time.”

“Oh I absolutely will,” Dorian grinned. “But still, doesn’t this all sound just a little suspect to you?”

“Well, yes,” Ellana said, straightening the stack of books next to her out of habit. “But he is a regular, I’ve seen him in here. He wasn’t creepy or weird or anything like that. He comes in, browses around for a while, gets what he needs and leaves. I don’t have any sense that he’s dangerous.” 

Dorian snorted. “If that’s all you noticed about him he can’t be that remarkable.” 

Ellana felt her face heat at that and knew Dorian could see it. “Well well,” he grinned, “Perhaps we’ve noticed him a bit more than we want to admit, hmm?”

“He’s a good looking man,” she said quietly. “I’m not dead. Of course I noticed him. I just didn’t think about it until now.”

“I bet he’s already out there waiting for you,” Dorian said, pushing her towards the window. “Come on, come show me which one he is.”

Ellana rolled her eyes but when she looked out she found Dorian was right. Cullen was already standing outside of the cafe, hands in his pockets, looking rather nervous, she thought. 

“Is he there?” Dorian peeked over her shoulder, and Ellana, resigned, pointed him out. Dorian’s mouth dropped open. “I take it back,” he said, after he had recovered himself. “If he’s trying to kidnap you, let him. Maker knows I wouldn’t mind being tied up by him in some cabin in the woods.”

“Dorian, you and I both know you would only follow a serial killer who murdered in high-end hotels with feather pillows.”

“True,” Dorian shrugged. “Still.” He nudged Ellana. “Good luck.”

“Dorian…” Ellana shifted her feet, eyes still fixed on the man who was unaccountably standing out there waiting for her. “Does my hair look okay?” she finished lamely, looking at her reflection in the window. After more debate than she was willing to admit to Dorian, she had opted to wear a sundress rather than her usual slacks and button down work attire, and she had left her hair down, since it was easiest for her to manage that way. She wore a blue cardigan over the white dress, altered to button over the remnant of her left arm. She’d put on just a touch of eye makeup and a pink gloss. The henna-like lines of Ghilan’nain’s mark curved up her forehead from between her eyebrows, disappearing under her bangs. She hadn’t wanted to go overboard, but a date was a date after all and she wanted to look nice. 

She felt Dorian squeeze her shoulders from behind her. “You’re lovely, he’s already captivated, all you have to do is smile and be your brilliant self, and if he’s not a complete buffoon, you’ll have him wrapped around your little finger in ten minutes.”

Ellana smiled. “Thanks, Dorian.”

“I’ll be right here if you need me. I’ve got the taser behind the counter, don’t forget.”

That made Ellana laugh, and shaking her head, she stepped out of the door of the shop. She could feel Cullen’s eyes on her even before she was all the way out, and sure enough when she turned in his direction he was looking at her. She felt her cheeks heat and despaired of getting through this date with any amount of decorum. Once she had had hope that she would outgrow the constant blushing that seemed to plague her, but it seemed she was fated to wear her discomfort on her face forever.

Cullen took one step forward and then waited for her to come to him, which she appreciated. 

She had not been lying to Dorian; she had noticed him, but never really looked at him. She did so now, taking in the stubble and the scar, the mouth that quirked up at one side as she approached. His hazel eyes were warm and intense, framed with lashes that most women would kill for. Looking at him up close, though, she thought he didn’t look quite healthy. His complexion was a little sallow, and his eyes were rimmed with red. She wondered if he hadn’t slept well. He wore jeans and a white button-down with the sleeves rolled up, not especially dressy but it looked good on him. He was a powerfully-built man and clearly made the most of it.. She resolutely kept her eyes on his face, cheeks heating slightly. 

“You’re here. Of course you are,” he said as she reached him, rubbing the back of his neck. “Listen, before we go through with this, I just–I feel like I owe you an apology. I want you to know that I wasn’t watching you. I mean, I was, but not that way.” He sighed. “This sounded much better in my head.” 

“It sounded fine,” she smiled. She didn’t understand what it was about her that could make a man like this one nervous, but she needed him to calm down before his jumpiness rubbed off on her. 

“Good. Thank you. I…” He trailed off, letting his hand fall. 

“Perhaps we should start over,” she suggested, reaching out her own hand. “I’m Ellana Lavellan. Nice to meet you.”

He looked surprised, taking her hand almost automatically, but recovered quickly. “Cullen Rutherford,” he said, shaking it firmly but not painfully. “It’s my pleasure. Will you join me for lunch?”

“I would like that very much.” She was relieved that he did seem to relax slightly.

The next few minutes were mercifully occupied with the acquisition of food, allowing them both a moment to regain their equilibrium. She didn’t object when he paid for her meal, though she fidgeted a bit when he put both their meals on one tray and carried them outside to a table. Old-fashioned, she added to the list of characteristics she was compiling in her mind. At least, she hoped it was that. The other options were less appealing. She felt a twinge in her missing left hand and took a slow breath. 

He invited her to pick a table and she chose one close to her usual place, still in the sun and in sight from the bookshop window, but a bit more out of the way than she normally preferred. He put their plates on the table, took the tray back, and settled down across from her.

Awkward silence descended. Before Ellana could come up with something to break the ice, he set her book on the table with a quick smile that left her a little breathless. He had charisma, that was for sure. Ellana reached for the book on instinct, feeling the familiar worn cover beneath her fingers, and raised her eyebrows. “You finished it?”

“Yes,” he said, eyes on his food. “I…don’t sleep very well, so I read a lot. That’s why I’m in your shop so often.”

Ellana wasn’t sure why he suddenly seemed uncomfortable again, but she smiled. “That’s funny. I read a lot, so I don’t sleep very well.” He glanced up, and smiled back a little, so she forged on. “What did you think of it?”

Cullen’s face went from uncomfortable to embarrassed, and he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “Well, to be honest–it was interesting, but I don’t think it was for me.”

Ellana’s respect rose a notch at his honesty. “That’s all right. I knew it was kind of a long shot based on what you usually read. You tried it, though, that’s good.”

“Tell me why you like it,” he said, and he sounded genuinely interested. Ellana gave him high points for that as well. The last time a man had cared what she thought about a book–

Her mind shied away from that memory. Focus on the moment, she told herself, and looked fondly at the worn cover sitting on the table. “Well, I kind of threw you in the deep end with this one, because it’s better if you understand the historical context at the time it was written…”

It turned out that, though she had the advantage in literature, Cullen was quite well versed in history, and she found that Alistair had been right. Once on comfortable ground, Cullen was a totally different person, confident and articulate, and she was impressed both at his knowledge and his ability to express it. With his encouragement, she warmed to the subject quickly, and one thought seemed to lead her to another and before long she was talking about three other books and comparing how differently they’d presented the same historical period. She blushed when she realized how far off course she’d gotten, and how long she’d been talking. Cullen’s plate was nearly clean, and she’d barely touched hers.

Cullen, on the other hand, was entirely charmed by her enthusiasm, and impressed in his turn with her critique and analysis. It was clear that she thought about books in an entirely different way than he did, and the animation that her passion brought to her face gave a different character to her beauty that he hadn’t seen before.

“I’m so sorry, I’ve been rambling on–” she started to apologize, and he hurriedly tried to reassure her. 

“No, no, please don’t apologize, I–”

He cut off as a buzzing in his pocket made him jump slightly. “Ah, sorry,” he said. He pulled his phone out and started to decline the call when he saw the number. Cullen frowned. “I’m sorry, that’s my sister, let me just–” He answered the call. “Mia? Is everything all right?”

“NO, everything is not all right. Do you know what our insane little sister has been doing?” He winced and held the phone away from his ear. 

“Is she all right?”

“She won’t be, when I get ahold of her, that irresponsible little–”

Maker’s breath, she was winding up for a good one, he had to head her off. “Mia, now’s not really a good time.”

Mia continued as if she hadn’t heard him. Cullen tried unsuccessfully to interrupt her several more times. He glanced at Ellana, who was finally applying herself to her food and politely pretending she couldn’t hear Mia’s irate recounting of their sister’s sins. He decided he had no choice.

He sighed, closing his eyes and knowing he was almost certainly going to regret this later. “Mia, I’m on a date.”

Mia’s rant cut off so abruptly that Cullen frowned. “Mia? Are you still there?” 

“You will call me when you get home,” Mia told him, in a tone that suggested the consequences would be dire if he didn’t do so.

Cullen sighed. “Yes. All right. Try not to murder Rosie in the meantime, all right? I’ll call you later.”

“As soon as you get home, Cullen!” 

“Goodbye, Mia,” he said firmly, and hung up. “I’m so sorry, I would have let it go but she never calls this early, I thought something might be wrong.”

“It’s all right. Are you sure everything is okay? She sounded like there was a problem.”

Cullen chuckled. “My youngest sister just moved out on her own and the freedom’s gone a bit to her head, I think. She’s not doing anything terrible, just the usual foolishness that comes with having your own income and the freedom to do what you want with it. Mia’s the oldest, she’s been running the family since our parents passed, and she’s having a little trouble letting go, so she tends to overreact a bit. I’m hoping once she adjusts she’ll start living her own life a bit more. She deserves it after all this time.” 

Ellana grinned. “Two sisters and you stuck in the middle? Sounds challenging.”

“My brother Branson’s between Rosalie and me, so at least the numbers are even. What about you?” 

“I have a brother,” Ellana said, “But he’s much older than me and he left home when I was very young. We’ve only recently reconnected, but it’s been good to have him back in my life.”

Cullen nodded. “I’ve been away from home for a long time myself, but Mia made sure I kept in touch.” His smile was lopsided. “Even when I didn’t want to.” He regretted it as soon as the words were out of his mouth. That thought wasn’t going anywhere but dark places.

Either she recognized a touchy subject or the comment slipped past her; either way, he was grateful when she didn’t press. “I can see you like history,” she said instead.   
“What else are you interested in? I think you said you play chess?”

“I do,” he said, “Since I was a child. Mostly I just wanted to beat Mia, wipe that smug look off her face, but I found I really enjoyed it. I play tournaments every once in a while, but mostly I just play in the park with the old men.” He hesitated. “Do you play?”

“Not very well,” she said, and smiled, but there was pain in it. “An old friend tried to teach me, but I couldn’t keep up with him. Several of my employees play, though, so I’ve kept my hand in.”

“Well, maybe we could have a match sometime,” he suggested. 

“I’m sure I wouldn’t even be a challenge for you,” she said, blushing slightly, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. Now that was interesting. 

“We’ll see,” he said, a smile tugging at his lips, and then quickly changed the subject, not wanting to make her any more uncomfortable, no matter how cute that little blush was. “So, obviously you love books, but how did you end up running the shop?” 

Ellana hesitated and Cullen immediately felt he’d blundered into something sensitive, though he couldn’t imagine how. “It was something I always dreamed about, and I swore to myself that I would make it happen.”

“And you did. That’s admirable.”

“I had a lot of help.” She glanced back at the store with a fond expression. “A lot of people made this happen. I couldn’t possibly fail them.”

What impulse moved him to take her hand just then, he couldn’t say. He wasn’t aware of doing it until he felt how warm her hand was in his own. She looked up at him, and those big ice blue eyes framed by the tendrils of her white-blond hair momentarily robbed him of the words he had intended to say.

Just like they had the first time.

Except she hadn’t blushed then as she did now, color highlighting her porcelain cheeks. “Cullen?”

“Sorry,” he said quickly, remembering Neria’s advice. “I just–I like your eyes.”

The color deepened in her cheeks, but she gave him a slow smile that sent a thrill up his spine. “I like yours too.”

Her hand still rested in his. He scrambled to pull his thoughts together.

“Um, I think I meant to say that it takes a special person to inspire that kind of loyalty in friends. I don’t think anyone catches their dreams alone. I know I wouldn’t be where I am if it weren’t for my friends.” He chuckled. “Rather more literally than usual today. Alistair’s never going to let me live this down.”

“Well, if you’d rather tell him ‘I told you so,’ it’s not too late for me to toss a drink in your face and stomp out,” Ellana teased, and Cullen laughed.

“No, no, this is definitely worth it,” he said, and he must have been a little too intense about it because Ellana pulled her hand away and tucked a strand of hair behind her pointed ear, not quite looking at him again. “Ah, I know you have to get back soon,” Cullen said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Can I walk you back? Since I’m out of reading material anyway,” he tried to joke, and then cleared his throat, feeling foolish.

But Ellana lit up a bit, her gaze snapping back to his face. “I’m sure I can help with that. Do you trust me?”

“Absolutely,” Cullen said, hardly aware of what he was agreeing to as she beamed at him. 

“Then let’s clean up and get going,” she said, getting to her feet, and the next thing Cullen knew he was being ushered through the door of the bookshop. The mustachioed man behind the counter raised an eyebrow at them as they came in, but Ellana ignored him, heading straight for the shelves.

“Let’s see,” she murmured to herself as Cullen trailed awkwardly behind her. “This one…and this one.” She put each book in his hands as she pulled it off the shelf, and then turned to him. “Now that we know each other a little better, I think I can make a better pick. If you’re really sure you trust me.” She winked one blue eye. “I do have an ulterior motive, since it’s my shop.”

“What have I got to lose but time?” He grinned, and she giggled. 

“Shall I check him out?” her employee asked with a smirk as they approached the counter. Ellana shot him a dirty look and slipped through the door in the counter. “Ah, prefer to do the checking out yourself, I see,” the man drawled. Cullen’s face heated. 

Ellana gave Cullen a look of longsuffering. “And now you get to meet _my_ embarassing best friend. Dorian, this is Cullen. Cullen, this is the man who will be handling the next night shift restock if he doesn’t mind his own business.”

She glared at Dorian and Cullen coughed, trying to hide his smile. Dorian rolled his eyes. “I know, she’s adorable when she makes threats, isn’t she? And she thinks she’s so scary. Fine, fine, I know when I’m not wanted. I’ll be in the back, giving you some privacy and pretending to do something useful until you’re done making eyes at each other.”

Ellana sighed as Dorian sauntered through the door behind her. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right,” Cullen chuckled. “Pretty sure I still win.”

“That’s only because he left, believe me,” Ellana said, busy at the register. When she was done, she put his books back on the counter and then hesitated. “You know what–there’s just one more I–” She came out from behind the counter, slipping past him. He picked up his books and followed her through the shelves. She hummed quietly to herself, dancing her fingers across the books until she found the one she wanted. She turned back and handed it to him. “Try this one.” Cullen took it and looked at the cover in surprise. “I know poetry’s a bit out of style these days, but give it a shot. Just read a couple a night, poetry needs space…” She trailed off, looking away. “Anyway, you might find something that speaks to you.” She shrugged, blushing thoroughly now. “No charge.”

“Thank you,” Cullen said, “I’ll try it.”

“Thank you for lunch,” she said, and those eyes were on him again, and trying to find somewhere else to look landed his gaze right on her petal pink lips and Maker, now he wanted to kiss her. 

“My pleasure,” he said, voice a little deeper than he intended. He cleared his throat, and pulled a card out of his pocket. “Ah, here’s my number, in case you want to talk, or maybe…have that chess match?”

Ellana took the card, her eyes not moving from his face, and he felt he’d better get out of there now before he did something stupid. “I’ll, ah…see you again sometime then.”

Ellana nodded, and he beat a hasty retreat.

He hadn’t been gone two seconds before Dorian emerged from the back. “Well,” he said, lounging across the counter to look at her. “Someone’s looking like she had a very pleasant lunch. Less ravished than I was hoping though.”

Ellana huffed. “Where would we even have – never mind, don’t answer that.”

Dorian smirked. 

“He’s nice,” Ellana said, as lightly as she could, walking back to the counter. “We had a nice talk.”

“Are you going out again?”

“He didn’t ask me,” she said, “He gave me his number though.” She set the card on the counter and pulled out her phone to program it in.

“Probably afraid of coming on too strong after that beginning,” Dorian said with a slight raise of his eyebrows. “Smoother than I’d expect from what he’s done so far. He may be a serial killer yet.

Ellana put her phone away and picked up the card again, turning it idly in her hand. Her eyes widened slightly.

“He’s not a serial killer,” she breathed, staring at the business card he’d written his number on. “He’s the head of the Divine’s personal security and peacekeeping force.”

“What?” 

Ellana held the card out and Dorian plucked it out of her hand. “Vishante kaffas,” he muttered, reading it. “Ser Cullen Rutherford, Commander, Inquisition Peacekeepers.” He looked at Ellana. “It didn’t occur to you to ask what he did for a living?”

Ellana flushed. “It didn’t come up, no.”

Dorian looked sour. “Don’t tell me all you did that whole time was talk about books.” Ellana bit her lip. 

“Not the whole time,” she hedged.

Dorian muttered something under his breath, and then looked down at the card and handed it back to her. “Well. He could still be a serial killer.”

Ellana laughed a little harder than the joke warranted, feeling oddly jumpy and fluttery. She began walking a circuit of the shop, making minute adjustments and brushing off imaginary dust. 

“Are you going to call him?” Dorian asked, following her.

“I…” Ellana shuffled a little, straightening the already perfect book display. “I don’t know. Maybe.” She sighed. “You know it’s been a long time since…I haven’t dated anybody since before…” she tipped her head towards her missing arm, but Dorian had a feeling that wasn’t really what she meant. 

“You should definitely call him, then! It’s about time you got–” She shot him a warning look. “–back out there,” he finished.

Ellana made a thoughtful noise and looked back at the card still in her hand. “I don’t understand why he’d be interested in me, though,” she said softly. “I mean he’s–” That cursed blush fired up again. “He’s really cute,” she admitted, more to the bookshelf in front of her than to Dorian. “He’s smart, educated, loves his family and,” she waved the card, “Apparently he’s got a career and influence…seems like he’d be a catch. What would he want with me?”

“And you’re a successful businesswoman, sweet, intelligent, passionate, ravishingly beautiful–”

“Dorian,” she laughed.

“Well, if you’re going to go fishing for compliments like that what do you expect?” Dorian sniffed. 

“I wasn’t–” she sighed. “Never mind.” She turned thoughtful again, gazing out of the window. “He said he’d been a soldier for a long time, I didn’t expect…” She shook her head slightly, brow furrowing. 

“Well, let’s run a search on him,” Dorian suggested, moving toward the shop’s computer. “A man in that position, he’s got to have had some publicity.”

“No,” Ellana said sharply, and Dorian turned back in surprise. “No,” she said more gently. “Dorian, what would I find if I did a search on you? Would that be fair? Would that be how you wanted me to know you?”

“I see your point,” he said grudgingly. “Too bad, it’s been so long since I was involved in a good scandal.”

Ellana put the card in her purse. “I’m sure we’ll talk about it next time.”

“Next time, hmm?” Dorian raised his eyebrows. Ellana pretended not to hear him and turned away to smile at a customer who mercifully came through the door at that moment.

Cullen didn’t quite keep his promise to Mia, but he was rather sure she was expecting that. Instead, he changed and took Captain on a long run, full of nervous energy that had nowhere else to go. Once he had returned, showered, and changed, he reluctantly picked up his phone and sat down on the couch. Captain heaved himself up on the couch and flopped across Cullen’s lap. Cullen stroked his head. “Might as well get this over with,” he muttered. He dialed and put the phone to his ear. Mia picked up almost instantly.

“Cullen Rutherford, you know better than to keep secrets from me!”

Cullen smiled, sinking back into his couch. “I wouldn’t dream of it, Mia.”

“Well? Go on, go on!”

“It was only our first date, Mia. I don’t even know if she’ll want to see me again.”

“So you want to see her again?”

Cullen let his head fall back and stared at the ceiling, still petting Captain absently. “Yes,” he said to Mia, “I do.” 

“I hope she’s not just a pretty face, Cullen. You’ll be bored to tears in a week if you don’t find someone you can talk to.”

“She is a pretty face, but she’s also brilliant,” he told her, smiling at the blank ceiling. 

“Does she have a job?”

“She owns a bookstore.” 

“I like what I’m hearing. Tell me everything!” 

He told Mia about the date in as much detail as he was willing to divulge, answered as many of Mia’s questions as he felt capable of putting up with, and then changed the subject to Rosalie’s supposed transgressions.

“Cullen,” Mia said, just when he thought they were ready to hang up. “You seem like you’re really into this girl.”

“I think I am,” he admitted quietly, knowing the truth was a bit stronger than he wanted to share.

“Well, just…be careful, Cullen. I don’t want to see you get hurt. Don’t rush into anything.”

Cullen chuckled. “I’ll try.” He paused. “Thanks for worrying about me, Mia.”

“Someone has to,” Mia sighed. “I love you, you know.”

“I love you too,” Cullen smiled. “Now quit worrying and go do something fun.”

“And you try to get some sleep.” 

His smile faded. “Good night, Mia. I’ll talk to you again soon.”

He heard her resigned sigh. “Bye, Cullen.”

He brought the phone down to hang up, and saw a text notification from a number he didn’t know. Frowning slightly, he opened it.

_Here’s my number so you have it. I had a good time today. Ellana_

A grin spread over his face that he would have been embarrassed for anyone to see, and he would’ve high-fived Captain, if the dog wasn’t dead asleep across his lap and drooling on Cullen’s favorite jeans.

After mulling it over for a minute, he took a deep breath, and sent a message back.

_So did I. I’d love to do it again. Dinner this time?_  
  
He barely had time to regret his boldness before the reply came back.

_It’s a date._


	4. I dwell in Possibility

Ellana didn’t realize she was humming until Iron Bull nudged her with his elbow. “You’re in a good mood,” he said. “Big date tonight?”

Ellana made a face at him. “Dorian told you.”

“Maybe,” Bull replied, flashing her a grin, “Or maybe I’m just that good.”

She huffed and shoved at his shoulder, though he didn’t move an inch. “Sure.”

“Want some help with your hair?” 

Ellana forgave him instantly, and this time squeezed his big arm gratefully. “I’d really appreciate that.” She shook her head slightly as she turned back to the box she was unloading, breathing deep of new book smell. “Someday you’ll have to tell me how a man with no hair learns Orlesian braiding techniques.”

“Trust me,” Bull chuckled, “You’d rather not know.”

Ellana raised her eyebrows at him, and he leaned closer. “I didn’t learn how to do it for hair,” he explained, and laughed when she flushed. 

“You’re right, I don’t want to know,” Ellana muttered.

“Message light’s blinking,” Bull pointed out, and Ellana turned to look at the phone she had left sitting on the counter. She frowned, and put the phone to her ear.

“Ellana, it’s Cullen,” his voice played in her ear. He sounded agitated. “Listen, I’m so sorry, but I have to cancel on dinner. I’ve been called away for work and I’ll be out of town for a week or so. I’m really sorry, I was...I was looking forward to seeing you.” She couldn’t help smiling slightly at the wistfulness she thought she detected in his tone at that last. “I hope--I’d like to try again, when I get back. I’ll, ah...I have arrangements to make so I don’t think I’ll have a chance to talk to you again before I leave, but I’ll try to call you sometime after I get to Val Royeaux.” A quiet sigh, and then, “Bye.” She shook her head slightly as she lowered the phone. Even cancelling on her at the last minute, he was sweet. Still, she was very disappointed.

“Bad news?” Bull asked from behind her. 

“‘Fraid so,” she said, trying to keep her tone light. “I guess I need to cancel our hair appointment tonight.”

“Aw, shit, Boss, that sucks,” Bull said, setting his box on the counter.

“Yeah,” she admitted quietly. “It kind of does. It--I mean it didn't sound like the kind of excuse you’d make up, so…”

“Hey, don’t let it fuck with your head.” Bull heaved a second box up on the counter. “No sense worrying about it. How bout we race through these last two? Last one to finish buys lunch??” Ellana raised an eyebrow at him. “I’ll keep one hand behind my back!” he protested.

Ellana grinned. “You’re on. And you can use both hands. I’ll still win.” She winked, and he laughed. 

***

Val Royeaux. Maker, he hated this place. Cullen threw himself down in the small armchair in his hotel room, rubbing at his eyes with one hand. He reminded himself that the Divine was his friend as well as his employer, that she never called for him this way unless she really needed him, and that despite all her other concerns she had made a great deal of time to help him work on the proposal he wanted to present to the Chantry mothers. And she had legitimately needed his assistance. It somewhat lessened his desire to murder her, but only somewhat. Especially when he had ended the day with a state dinner with a bunch of stuffy officials and diplomats. Ugh. 

“Maker’s breath, she couldn’t have waited one more day,” he muttered, getting to his feet to unbutton and throw off his uniform jacket. He’d be walking her home right now, maybe thinking about kissing her depending on how the evening had gone. Cullen hoped she wasn’t upset that he’d cancelled on her so last minute. He hated that he hadn’t even been able to talk to her before he left. 

He slumped down in the chair again and drummed his fingers on the arm for a moment. Then he pulled out his phone and dialed before he could change his mind.

“Hello?”

“Ellana,” he said, and then quickly, “It’s, ah, it’s Cullen. I hope I’m not calling too late but I hated to cancel on you with nothing but a voicemail.”

“Cullen.” She sounded surprised, but pleased, he thought. “No, it’s fine, I’m a bit of a night owl anyway. I did get your message, it seemed kind of sudden, wasn’t it?” 

“It was,” Cullen sighed. “I told you I had left the service and I have, but I’m still--”

“You’re the head of the Inquisition,” she said. “It was on your card.”

“Yes, well,” Cullen rubbed his neck, taking a few steps toward his window.  “Head of the military forces, at any rate. I’ve actually been transitioning out of that role for some time now. I’m technically on a leave of absence to give my second in command some experience before he takes over completely, but occasionally the Divine needs me to handle something personally, and she doesn’t always give me as much notice as I would like. I guess--we didn’t really talk about any of this before. Do you--do you have time to talk now? If you’d rather not, that’s fine, but...honestly I could use the distraction if you’re free.”

“Um--Yes.  Just--hold on just a minute, okay?”

“Of course,” he said, and waited. In the quiet of his hotel room he could clearly hear the whoosh and splash of water on the other end of the line before all sound cut abruptly off, and his face heated. Maker, was she in the bath? He started pacing the length of his small room, trying not to think about what was happening on the other side of the line, but he heard nothing else. He suspected she’d muted the phone. 

Sound returned on the other side with the rustling of fabric and a chinking sound he didn’t recognize. “There,” she said, with a huffing noise and a whump, that made him imagine her throwing herself down on her bed. “Now I’ve got my wine and I’m cozy and comfortable. Is everything all right? You seemed a little tense.”

“Y-yes, everything’s fine,” Cullen stammered. “I just--to be honest, I hate Val Royeaux and--” he lowered his voice slightly, “I was really looking forward to having dinner with you. My company tonight was--” he chuckled mirthlessly. “Not nearly so pleasant.”

“I’ve never been to Val Royeaux,” Ellana replied. “My books make it sound very exciting.” 

“Well, it is that,” Cullen said wryly. “I’d take Ferelden boredom over Orlesian excitement any day.”

“Tell me something good about the city, Cullen,” Ellana said, and he could hear the smile in her voice. “Let me live in the illusion for a moment.” 

Cullen glanced out of the window. “Well, the lights are pretty spectacular,” he admitted. “And there’s music constantly, which can be annoying when you’re trying to get something done, but I imagine if you’re here just to enjoy yourself it’s quite pleasant.”

“You like music?”

“I do,” he said, putting one hand in his pocket and pacing slowly. “It’s not a taste I’ve had much time to indulge but I do enjoy it.”

“Well, when you have a moment, stop and enjoy some music under the lights for me.” 

He smiled. “I will.” They were silent for a moment. 

“Do you want to talk about why you’re there?”

“I...honestly, no, I don’t,” he admitted. “It just makes me angry and I’d rather not spend all our time ranting about things that hopefully won’t be my problem in a few months.”

“Well,” she said, with that touch of humor back in her voice. “Do you want to tell me all the things you hate about Val Royeaux?”

He laughed. “As much as I’d love to stay on the phone with you all night, I don’t think you would thank me for it in the morning.”

“All right,” she laughed too. “Then...tell me about your family. Two sisters and a brother, right?” 

“Right. Ah, my family,” he smiled, shaking his head slightly. “Where do I begin? Well, my brother Branson is married, he’s the only one of us with a child. My nephew’s four, and he is…” Cullen chuckled. “Very energetic.”

“I’ll bet.”

He talked to her about his nephew and then Rosalie and then Mia, and then asked her brother.

“Mahanon is about twelve years older than me,” Ellana explained. “He left home as soon as he was grown and I only knew him from letters for a long time. I see him more, after--” She stopped, and Cullen frowned, but she quickly continued, “He stops by to see me now when he’s in town. His business brings him through once or twice a month. Do you see your family often?”

“Not as often as I should,” he admitted, and they talked a little longer, until he heard her stifle a yawn and winced when he glanced at the time. “You’re tired, I should let you sleep,” he said reluctantly. “Sorry for running on like that.”

“It’s all right. I like listening to you talk. You have a nice voice,” she said, and then paused. “Do you have that book of poetry I gave you?”

“Yes, it’s right here,” he said, picking it up from the bedside table. 

“Would you do something for me?” she said, and he could practically hear her blushing, the hesitant softness in her voice making his heart beat faster.

Anything, he almost said without thinking. “Go ahead,” he managed instead.

“Page 253...Will you read that one for me?”

He braced the phone against his shoulder and turned the pages of the book. “She walks in beauty?”

“Yes.”

“All right.” He took the phone back in his hand, holding the book with the other, and cleared his throat a little self-consciously. “She walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies, and all that’s best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes…”

He fell easily into the rhythm of the verse, and Ellana sighed when he finished. “That was beautiful, Cullen. Now that is how poetry is meant to be heard. Thank you for indulging me.”

Cullen licked his lips.  “Would you...return the favor?”

“Of course,” she said. The sound of the call changed, and he could hear pages turning. She’d put him on speaker, he realized, probably to manage the book and the phone at the same time. “Which one would you like?”

“You pick,” he said. There was silence for a moment, and then her soft voice like velvet made him shiver.

“Death, be not proud,” she began, “though some have called thee mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so; For those whom thou thinks thou dost overthrow die not, poor Death, nor canst thou kill me.”

Cullen listened, feeling the words to his bones, her gentle voice somehow not at all at odds with the defiant words. It resonated in him, made him think of all he had come through and, with the Maker’s blessing, endured. “Thank you,” he said softly, when she finished.

“That one helped me through--a very difficult time.” 

_ Your arm? _ He wanted to ask, but decided it was too soon. “I’m glad you shared it with me.” 

“Well,” she said, and he heard rustling that made him think she was fidgeting. “I should really go. I hope things go better for you tomorrow.”

“Of course,” Cullen said, standing up from the bed and beginning to pace again. “Thank you for listening to me all this time. I hope I haven’t kept you up too much.”

“It’s fine,” she said, “I’m glad you called.”

“Me too,” he said softly. “Good night, Ellana.”

“Good night, Cullen.” 

The call ended and he lowered the phone slowly, placing it thoughtfully on the bedside table. He glanced out the window and leaned his chin on his hand. 

***

“So I hear your devoted lover ran off on you the other day.” 

Ellana threw a crumpled up receipt at Dorian without really looking at him. It was a slow day, the kind that seemed like it would never end, and Ellana was leaning on the counter, a large hard-bound volume open in front of her. Dorian was in one of the chairs by the window, feet propped up and a magazine in hand. She ought to scold him, but there was no one in the shop, so she didn’t bother.

“Did he even give you a reason or just text a lame excuse?”

“He left me a voicemail,” she told him, “And then he called me that night because he felt bad.” She tried to keep her tone light, and not to smile too broadly. “We talked for a while. It was nice.”

“Oh  _ was it now _ ,” Dorian chuckled. 

“Yes, it was,” Ellana replied, shooting him a glare. “Very nice. He was a lot more talkative over the phone, actually.” More confident, maybe, was the right way to say it.

“Ah, easier to hold onto his senses when your beauty isn’t before him in person,” Dorian deadpanned.

Ellana ignored this. “I asked him to read me some poetry.” She sighed. “I think I could listen to him read the phone book, honestly, he has a really nice voice.” She paused. “He said he likes music, I wonder if he sings.”

Dorian snorted, and Ellana turned away with a huff. “I’m not telling you anything anymore,” she grumbled, and then dug in her pocket for her phone to check her messages.

To her surprise, there were two from Cullen. She hadn’t heard from him since they had talked a few days ago. She’d assumed he’d been too busy working. 

The first message was a picture. She giggled a little; it was obvious he wasn’t in the habit of selfies, but she thought it was a nice enough picture all the same. He was on a balcony with his back to the view so she could see the lights spreading out behind him. The wind was ruffling his hair slightly, and though his forehead was slightly creased as he concentrated on taking the picture, the expression suited him. 

The text that followed said,  _ Listening for you, as ordered. There was a minstrel group in the square playing Empress of Fire last night. _

Ellana smiled and sent a message back.  _ It only counts if you enjoyed it. _

She was surprised when the reply came almost immediately.  

_ I did. Thanks for reminding me to stop and take it in. _

“I know who you’re talking too,” Dorian singsonged, not even looking up from the magazine he was perusing.

“Sure you do,” Ellana said absently, too happy to mind his teasing. “Because you’re paying so much attention.”

“I can hear you blushing from here.”

Ellana looked up at that and made a face at him, and though his gaze still didn’t waver from his magazine, his eyebrows raised, so she knew he saw her.

The phone buzzed in her hand again.

_ Would it be okay if I called you again tonight? _

Ellana bit her lip to keep her smile a reasonable size and then, blushing, replied.

_ Will you read another poem for me? _

She put her hands over her face. Creators, what was she thinking? Again, though, his reply was almost immediate, and when she imagined it in his voice she couldn’t stop a giggle.

_ Anything you like. _

She sent back  _ I’ll be free after 8,  _ and then shoved her phone in her pocket, sure there was something useful she could do with the excess energy suddenly sparking under her skin. 

Across the mountains, in the stuffy, overly ornate waiting room attached to Divine’s office, Cullen was still smiling at his phone, anticipation welling up in him, when a familiar voice interrupted his thoughts. 

“Commander.”

He looked up and straightened, slipping the phone into his pocket. “Most Holy, my apologies.”

Divine Victoria waved them away. “If it keeps you from dying of boredom while you wait then no apologies are necessary. Nothing ever runs on schedule here, it is maddening.” She looked at him, eyes narrowing slightly under her ridiculous hat. “Is everything all right? You look…”

Cullen shuffled his feet, waiting for her analysis.

“Happy,” Cassandra finished. “Did something good happen?”

Cullen looked at the floor but couldn’t hide the grin that was trying to spread over his face. “Nothing’s happened, I just...well I--I met someone recently, and…” He rubbed his neck, sorry he’d even opened his mouth. “It doesn’t matter, you needed to speak to me?”

Cassandra raised an eyebrow, but merely inclined her head and he followed her into her office.  

It was all business for the next two hours, and then finally Cassandra sat back in her chair. “I regret the loss of your abilities, Cullen, but I am truly happy for you. This cause you have chosen to champion is a worthy one.”

“I couldn’t do it without your support,” Cullen replied seriously. “I won’t forget all you’ve done for me, Cassandra. You made this possible in more ways than one.”

“Well, don’t thank me yet,” Cassandra gave a familiar lopsided smile. “We haven’t succeeded yet, though I think we will carry our point in the end.” She sighed, pushing away a stack of paper on her desk impatiently. “Thank you for returning to deal with this nonsense. I am sorry to have called you back on such short notice, but I was afraid I might murder Rylen if I had to deal with him another moment. He is a good man, but there wasn’t time for a learning curve on this one.”

“I’ll admit I wasn’t very happy about it,” Cullen told her, rubbing the back of his neck and looking at the floor as a grin threatened to tug at his mouth. “But...it’s turned out better than I expected.” He was sure his ears were red; Cassandra’s smirk confirmed it. 

“I won’t ask for details. I don’t think I want to know. But I am glad to see you happy.”

“Thank you, Most Holy,” Cullen inclined his head slightly, and as Cassandra stood, rose as well. “You know you can always call on me if you need me, Cass,” he added quietly.

“I do. Thank you.” 

Cullen left her office, glancing at the time as he did. He still had a lot of day to get through.

It all went torturously slow, but at least tonight he wasn’t required to attend any formal dinner. He took dinner to his hotel room instead, trying not to watch the clock while he ate.

Eight o’clock came and he forced himself to wait another half an hour.

At eight thirty exactly he picked up the phone.

Ellana picked up with gratifying speed. “Well, another day done?” she said cheerfully.

“Yes, and thankfully it should be the last. I’ve only got a few more things to settle in the morning, I think, and then the rest can be handled by someone else.”

“That’s good,” she said, although she sounded almost a little disappointed.

Cullen raised his eyebrows. “Is that bad?”

“No, not at all,” she said quickly. “No, I just--” she sighed. “Is it weird to say I almost like this better? You seem more relaxed over the phone.”

“I’m sorry,” he said automatically, and Ellana sighed again.

“No, don’t apologize. It’s just, when you’re nervous it makes me nervous. I like you better this way.”

“Well,” he smiled, “You’re very pretty, as well as smart and well-read. And I don’t feel like I made a great first impression.”

“Well, I think we’re past that now,” she said softly, and his heartbeat picked up a little. “And we did agree to start fresh last time.”

“That’s true,” was all he could manage to say, and there was silence for a moment.

“Do you sing, Cullen?” she asked suddenly, and he blinked.

“I--um, sort of?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Not in front of people, or anything like that.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” she said quickly. “I just wondered, since you have such a nice voice.”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” he lied, “As long as you’re not about to ask me to sing now.”

“If you’d rather I didn’t, I won’t.”

“Thank you.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Maybe some time - but not in the middle of a hotel.” Maker’s breath, what was he promising?

“All right. If you feel like it, then, sometime or other. No pressure.” 

Cullen cleared his throat. “I did, um, I did promise to read to you though, as I recall.” 

“You don’t have to,” she said, sounding embarrassed. 

“No, I’d like to,” he said, picking up the poetry volume. “Which one do you suggest.”

“Page 153,” she said, a little shyly. 

Cullen turned the pages. “ _ Tyger, Tyger _ ?”

“Yes,” she said. “If it’s all right.”

“Of course.” He read it, and Ellana sighed, just as she had the first time.

“You should do this professionally,” she teased.

Cullen smiled. “Is there much of a market for poetry readers these days?”

“There would be, if they could hear you.”

“That’s very flattering,” Cullen chuckled. “But it’s your turn now.”

“Oh,” she sounded surprised. “All right. That’s fair, I suppose.”

“Don’t sound so surprised,” he told her. “I like your eyes and you like mine. You like my voice--and I like yours too.”

“It’s hardly the same,” she protested.

“I think it is.” He sat back against the plain headboard of his hotel bed. “Please.”

They read poems back and forth for a while, and then he asked about her day, and they talked about nothing important until Cullen felt he had better let her go. He hesitated, and then said, “Listen, I'll be home late tomorrow but I'd really like to see you. Are you free the day after?”

“Well, I do actually have plans,” she said slowly. “But…” She paused and Cullen held his breath. “You could come with me, if you like.”

“I’d like that.” He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees, trying to keep his eagerness out of his voice. “When and where?”

“Do you drive?”

“Yes.”

“Good, then you can pick me up. I live above the shop. The earlier the better.”

Cullen chuckled. “You might want to be more specific. I'm used to military hours. I assume you’d prefer after sunrise? Six?”

“That's fine. We can grab coffee at the cafe on our way out.”

“Okay. I'm looking forward to it.”

“You haven't even asked what we’re doing.”

_ It doesn't matter _ , he wanted to say,  _ as long as I can see you. _ He reeled it in and tried to keep his voice light. “Would you tell me if I asked?”

Ellana laughed. “Wear clothes you don't mind getting dirty, and boots if you have them.”

Cullen raised his eyebrows but grinned. “Understood.”

“I've got to go,” she said, “I'll see you in two days, then. Travel safely, Cullen.”

“I will. Have a good day tomorrow.” 

“Bye.” 

He put the phone down and leaned his head back against the wall. 

Two days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poems referenced in this chapter: Tyger, Tyger by William Blake, Death Be Not Proud by John Donne, She Walks in Beauty by Lord Byron. The chapter title is also a reference to I dwell in Possibility by Emily Dickenson.
> 
> I highly recommend looking them up and reading them to yourself in Cullen’s voice. Rawr.


End file.
